Four A.M. & A Funeral

It wasn’t until i lost my DSLR when i truly understood how short the lifetime of happiness can be, therefore it is wisest to live it while you can, with the understanding that good things don’t last forever, so do bad things.

My relationship with my DSLR is like dating a man whom you know can never be yours, yet with a heart always loaded with hope and strong will, you try again and again to make it work, believing nothing is impossible to a willing heart.

i bought a Canon EOS 600D as a gift to myself for my 25th birthday, acknowledging the fact that to have good quality visuals is a must if not a necessity to have a more professional looking blog. The very first picture i snapped with the new toy amazed me to no end and like falling in love for the very first time, it became my everything. We saw each other every day, went everywhere as a couple, spent great times together . . .

Alas! Like how most puppy love begins, the missing ingredient in the recipe to have an everlasting relationship was experience. i always believe that how a relationship starts at the first place is very (very) crucial because it usually determines what it’s like if two people were to be together ‘forever’; even when the relationship goes through different stages. It was during our first island vacation when we first started the Taylor Swift’s “never ever ever getting back together” thing – and that went on . . . ‘forever’.

On a rocky boat ride in an unforgiving long boat in the middle of the bright blue Krabi sea, there was this big crystal jelly wave, the Mother of all Waves, which splashed over us ever so naturally like an egoistical uninvited monster. Of course, we survived but my DSLR didn’t make it. From countless service shops to deserted Canon factories – anyone who examined it claimed it hopeless. Hopeless as i was, a new body was bought to replace the broken.

So my relationship with the DSLR resumed again. But as we all know it – you might be able to fix a broken glass, but you can never fix its scar. Our relationship was scarred. DSLR seemed to take on the role of a ‘i-don’t-really-give-a-fuck’ boyfriend. Every now and then it lags but patiently, i endured its every behavior like an obedient wife. Life seems good and all that, until . . .

i lost him forever in a cab two days ago. You see, i’ve traveled to many countries and in none of any of those countries had i left anything behind that could cause me a devastating heartbreak but Singapore . . . In Singapore this has happened twice.

i have decided to spare you the first story. This time around, at the cold hour of 4 a.m. we hailed a random cab to take us for supper after a hard rockin’ party and the driver, a Chinese man in glasses drove us to Geylang.

“Why Geylang?” i asked him. “Isn’t that a place for . . .”

Offended and offensive, he cut me off – “DO you see any lady?”

“Well, maybe not a lady, but perhaps a ladyboy!” – My friends and i bursted out laughing.

Then he explained, reasoned, and argued. Alone.

Jesus Christ. i really don’t care. All i want is to makan. The moment he dropped us off in between Lorong 6 and Lorong 8, bad recommendation by the way, impatient to get out of his filthy car as soon as possible, i left my DSLR in the most unfriendly cab i ever took in my life.

So there i was, calling all the taxi companies i could find that dawn (and that lasted till the whole of next day); begging for help but of course, it never came back. It’s over. That awful breakup when he just left without saying goodbye. That evening at the airport i cried my heart out knowing that small glimmer of hope i was holding on to, that faith i had that good people still exist, only exists by chance if you are lucky.

So my readers. Part of this tale is to story you about the lost of my DSLR; should you be interested. Part of it is to share with you 2 lessons i learned.

Lesson #1:
Make it a HABIT to snap a picture / take down the taxi number plate and driver’s name – NO. MATTER. WHERE. YOU. ARE. IN. THE. WORLD. If you are a girl, alone, SMS your dad / anyone who can track and look for you should the driver turns out to be a pervert (this happened to me TWICE by the way, where the drivers attempted to molest me). Always ask for and keep the receipt after paying. i swear that piece of paper is gold at times you never expected it to be.

Lesson #2:
Happiness – when found, try to appreciate every second to the FULLEST. A day before i lost my DSLR i proudly tweeted – “Today i’m proud to say: If i’m not the happiest girl on Earth, i don’t know who is. (=”, the next day i lost my DSLR. Should i be happy? Should i be depressed? How much can you do after cleaning up the mess of a glass of spilled milk?

Of course i am upset that my camera is stolen, but what hurts me the most is losing the beautiful pictures of precious captured moments stored in its memory card. i could find 50 new guys but i can never get that 1 i love most back. And that’s about the things money can’t buy. i am close to inconsolable but it is time to learn about acceptance and moving on. Our relationship is now gone, but the memories in them will always remain. And remain.

Dear taxi driver, with all your black heart and dark soul, take it. Use it, sell it, fuck yourself with it, be gay about it. i hope what comes around doesn’t means losing a life that reminds you of the day you stole something from me.

It is tempting to keep something you found be it big or small, but remember that you never know how important that thing means to the person who lose it. To you it might be a random lottery, to some it might mean the World. And this world needs more civilized people to do more good deed, wouldn’t you agree?


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