January 28, 2011

The Resolutions (2011)

i’ve been crafting this post in my head instead of here in this pad because i needed an answer first.

The question was, will he stay?

When a|x was back in Spain for X’mas, i bumped into someone we know at a bar who brought across the classic topic : Live for Yourself!

i was bombarded with questions like :

1. Will you drop everything here and leave with him if he asks you to?
2. If yes, are you doing it for him, or for you?
3. What will you do if he leaves without you?
4. Why aren’t you doing it now? Are you staying for him?

The reason why i needed an answer from a|x before writing this was because, 2 out of my 5 new year resolutions will only be made compulsory if he stays.

Usually when a girl gets into a relationship, she starts living for him. i’ve seen so many people doing that. In fact, i already have a few victims in my head. So is it wrong, to live for someone else? Can you control the amount you wanna give in a relationship?

(Un)fortunately, most guys don’t commit this mistake. But i figure it must be hard for them sometimes. When they go out a lil’ too often, we start comparing them with clingy boyfriends. When they get too clingy, we say they’re acting like a pussy.

p/s: this does not happen to me – i’m just generalizing the issue.

On 31st December 2010, i celebrated NYE with a|x thru a videocall with deafening village fireworks as our romantic “background music”. i told him about my new year resolutions :

1. Make the online boutique i’m working on recently a success.
2. Earn more money to travel more.
3. Drink more water; which a|x says doesn’t count  -.-

While 4 and 5 depends on whether he stays :

4. Master Spanish.

5. Learn to make awesome Tapas.

After the videocall, i thought to myself : Why must 4 and 5 exist only if a|x stays? i defended myself at the bar, but am i living in denial? What if i am subconsciously living for someone else? =/

So #6 appears in my resolution list for 2011. Here is how it sounds :

6. Live for me, with him.

Even if a|x were to leave, i will STILL learn Spanish and i will STILL make good Tapas for myself! 8)

You can’t always calculate how much you give VS receive to be in a healthy relationship. Somehow you have to just be and be happy. It is all about maintaining a balance. Well, easier said than done, but when you meet a real man (i stress the word MAN), it comes naturally.

So i stopped asking The Question and finally received The Answer :

a|x came back with a recipe book in Spanish – how thoughtful! Now i can accomplish #4 AND #5 AT THE SAME TIME!! 😀

Also, two extra special gifts from Salamanca; which i later found out (the hard way) that his mum helped him picked for meee~! ♥

The silver flower-like symbol you see above is called botón charro. Charro is a jewel button belonging to traditional folklore in Salamanca, Spain.

Now i own 2 earrings with “Charra watermarks” on, and you can’t get ’em unless you fly to Europe!!! hahaha *evil* q:

a|x and i are crazy fans of ICE CREAM so he brought back 2 cute ice cream bowls (with that message down there, you just have to feel guilty leaving ’em empty)!

And then i also found out that…

Remember this necklace he gave me on the right? Well he’s got one too!!! OMG you won’t geddit but it is also a kind of happiness for me okayyy… i just got to tell you this!! lol

Alright.. so that was my 2011 resolutions story. What’s yours? 😉