January 10, 2018

5 Rules I Vow to Live By

For A Happier Life in 2018

Often I dream of water; saving myself from downing in an ocean. Yesternight in my sleep, É was reversing a car with me by his side on a cliff (which looks 97.5% like the picture above). Then the break decided to stop working. So we fell – 2000 meters down the indigo sea where somehow, halfway, we managed to escape the fatal car.

My body slapped hard against the water, the magnitude of pain so great I wasn’t capable of feeling any ache. But I remember it felt amazing. A blackout. Darkness. Emptiness. Happiness. Goodbye, world. It’s nice to know you. É, being the protagonist, had to save me. I opened my eyes and in the middle of the sea, I asked him, “Is this for real?” He said, yes it is. 

I hoped it was real because that part of life imitating death felt incredibly good. And to survive it all reminded me that miracles still exist. 

Then I woke up to the universe, wondering if this means I’ve been emotionally overwhelmed. Is my subconscious crying for help? There are so many things tugging at my heart which I can’t tell. I wish I can believe in miracles again. Yet they never showed up. 

While the world has started spinning with new year resolutions, É and I have just returned from Portugal. Holidays? Not. We had been viewing countless apartments to purchase (found nothing we liked), going from one mundane notary visit to the other, trying to get our marriage registered in Porto on a desperate rainy day; which turned out to be a nightmare because no one knew exactly how to handle our case, meeting with our wedding planner while battling language barriers, dealing and dealing with more challenging intangible matters . . .

That was 3 weeks ago.

Declutter

Back in Cingapore, I made a list of things to tackle in order to start living simpler, cleaner, lighter. I’d love to start with less clutter. If the environment ain’t right, the mind can’t be. So.

From my Gmail inbox to jewelry closet and bursting wardrobes in between, I’m dealing with it. If you haven’t heard of the reverse hanger trick, let’s TRY IT.

Goal: Be more organised in life.

Put thoughts on paper

I spend a lot of time thinking and even more time writing. Why?

The good stuff usually visits my mind at the worst timings – when I am brushing my teeth, randomly on my way to lunch or right after 3 a.m. toilet breaks. Confidently, I told myself I can remember them until I get the chance to type them out. Chances are 1 out of 10 times does it work.

This year onwards, I am making it a point to jot down my thoughts IMMEDIATELY to speed up my writing process and to produce richer content because personally, time is needed for me to ‘warm up’ before crafting in a blank space.

If diary is not your thing, make a plan of your 2018 life goals or make to-do and done lists.

Cultivate the word ‘discipline’

Whether it is working out, be better at saving money, or posting consistently, I must admit that in 2017 the word discipline lacked from my life. What about you?

Here, words don’t work. Actions do. So without over promising, I hope I will be able to share with you my journey and its results in this space from time-to-time.

Without a plan and the discipline to follow, dreams and goals won’t come true.

Spend less time on Facebook + Instagram

Now isn’t this most of us. I’m afraid ‘addiction’ is by the bay. How much time do you think you spend on social media in 1 day?

To keep it under control, I (ended and) started the year with good books so that I have interesting options to turn to instead of bright screens. My last book of 2017 was The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur (a must-read 4.5 stars). I am currently reading Nutshell by Ian McEwan. You can follow me on Goodreads here.

If reading is not your cup of tea, why don’t learn something new, build relationships or burn some calories?

Redefine happiness

• Acknowledging that some ambitions require more than just ‘doing my best’ and I can still be happy while working harder.
• Take things one at a time depending on what time permits, instead of forcing what cannot be at the moment.
• Being faraway from family and friends can also mean opportunity to build new, fresh connections.
• When stress starts affecting health, practice mindfulness and remember the people who love you.
• A fulfilled life is a happy life; never stop working on that.

Because there is no turning back now.