Why Life Starts at 20, Overcoming 30s Crisis & What’s in Store This Month.
November will always be my favorite month of the year. Not sure if it’s because it is my birthday month; somehow it conveniently brings good news, surprise(s) and the best part of all, new beginnings, which feels a lot like the ‘first time’ of anything.
October was so CRAZY I actually created a draft titled ‘Can’t Hello October’ and didn’t even have the time to loath or tend to my feelings, leave alone write. I’ll spare you the drama.
Turning 30 was inevitably a big deal. Turning 31, not so. There is no math nor science behind this reasoning – I suppose the mark of another round-up decade lived, tend to trigger the mild OCD in me to panic hence conduct necessary actions to reflect, troubleshoot, plan forward. At almost-31, I think I’ve grown more accepting towards what time can do or change.
They say life starts at 30. I can’t say I agree. 20s when lived wisely to the fullest, plays an important role that will help shape your 30s; so you should really start living your 20s if you still have any. If you only start at 30, you will end up no where at 40 – it’s
never too late.
Having lived my 20s with mistakes, unspoken past and broken rules, it is as though I emerged from a rugged colorful journey to a beautiful beginning: the 30s. In my opinion, 30s is not a time for regrets or pondering about what ifs.
I am not saying the past 345 days had been smooth sailing. At one point I believe I faced what is called 30s Life Crisis; when every day I felt inadequate, irrelevant and useless. I self-sabotaged my own work and past achievements. Became unreasonable with my expectations and was overly demanding when it comes to results. Thoughts like deleting my Instagram account or even myself off the face of this world toyed in my head for the heck of it.
My best friend, Ai Rene, who is a warrior whom won over the same phase, warned me about the existence of such a crisis. I read up about it and thought, ‘This cannot be; I must be so lucky that I became ungrateful! But why do I still feel this way?”. I wrote an emotional post and deleted it. Why would anyone read an article that apposes a problem but suggests no solutions?
Now that I feel more redeemed, I would like to share with you my experience. If you feel the same way I did, don’t be ashamed to reach out. It is indeed a phase that takes quite some time to escape from once it latches on to you. Remember to surround yourself with the right / supportive /
smartwise people, fight against the crisis swallowing you, and trust me; you will get out of it.
What starts at 30s is discovering the upgraded version of yourself having lived 20s. No more beta runs. That’s how apps improve, right? One major thing I realized is my tolerance towards people, situations and experiences I don’t favor – If I love beach vacations but boat rides make me sea sick, I go to the island but no one can make me go on a boat – I am ‘too old’ for that shit, don’t waste my time. I learned how to feel strong (instead of guilty) about saying N-O. That’s how I roll.
I am definitely still learning and picking up skills to improve myself; from trying new softwares to the biggest lesson of all: How to Juggle Every Life Aspects in Your 30s. (I always thought working for myself means I will have more freedom. Truth is, I have
even less no free time for myself!)
Although I don’t have any answers or advises yet on the latter, the funny thing is that I can already see myself sharing my story with you on how I’ve figured it all out one day. That’s the kind of confidence and natural optimism that doesn’t drown easily, which comes with being 30. Tough beauty.
What doesn’t get younger is our body. At 31, my goal is to focus on my fitness and posture, even if it requires investment of some sort – for the wedding next year, a better pregnancy in future, to becoming a healthier mother and a better person for me and my family. Isn’t taking care of ourselves the most basic responsibility we have?
What’s in store for me this month are sponsored trips with 2 big hotels, a family trip to Hong Kong + Macau (probably the last of just the 4 of us before the family I’m gonna build expands), perhaps a glamorous but intimate birthday party my way and wrapping up Hola Project, which I am really proud to be a part of.
At the end of the day, aren’t we all fighters and survivors?