September 9, 2018

10 WTF Moments On My Wedding Day

How Choosing The Wrong Wedding Planner Can Fuck Up A Bride’s Big Day

There is no such thing as a stress-free wedding. Behind every wedding is a bride trying to keep it all together. Despite her efforts, the chances for everything to go exactly the way she wants it to be is as slim as runway models.

It could be rain on her wedding day, the first day of her period or the best man who never showed up. Regardless of any wedding disaster, thank heavens for good photography – everything can still look good on social media. Women rarely talk about the truth of how unromantic wedding planning can be. I am not shying away from that.

It all started with engaging a Ukranian wedding planning service in Portugal called Studio Victorias. The decision to appoint them makes it to my Top 3 Biggest Regrets for as long as I lived. How much do you imagine, can the wrong wedding planner RUIN a bride’s experience on 1 of the most important days of her life?

Well, here are 10 offensive shocks that are insulting in the most creative ways. While reading, try picturing yourself on your wedding day going through these surprises. I am amazed I did not faint at #3 & #10. Although due to all the stress, I caught the flu a day before my wedding, which went on for more than a week!

1. The wedding planners skipped the ‘palace tour’ arranged for our guests & kept it a secret. 

Motherfuckers.

Guests are encouraged to arrive an hour earlier to join a guided tour, seeing a huge chunk of our budget went into renting the entire palace. Because there was no proper communication between staffs, É & I arrived half an hour earlier than we’re supposed to. I saw people wandering in every direction instead of joining the arranged tour. Panicked, I pulled a guest & asked if anyone was informed by the staffs of the activity.

“No. Is there a tour?”

Instead of taking the responsibility of explaining to us why it failed to happen, they kept it a secret up until today. WTF.

{optional for guests, not optional for wedding planners to execute!}

2. The wedding planners got my bouquets wrong (& withering). 

{supposed bouquet: white florals + peonies in the exact shape above + floor-length dusty blue chiffon ribbon}

The moment I set eyes on my bouquet, I was as furious as the burning sun that hot summer day.

“WHY IS IT DIFFERENT??? WHY does the ribbon look so CHEAP?!”

{how different is this from what I requested? you probably can’t see from this picture, but some flowers were already bruised like my feelings. the ribbons you see had replaced some blue Kamdar rubbish used originally}

Fumbling for my phone, I opened Instagram & showed her the 2 images I must have shown her at least 15 times over email & WhatsApp:

Instead of apologizing, she told me I should hold it in a certain way (BULL CRAP) & that the ribbon as shown on Instagram looks like it’s made of silk & therefore would be expensive.

WTF?

As a wedding planner, do you not know that chiffon (fabric) exists? What if I wanted silk. Did I say I can’t pay for it? Who is she to decide that?!

As I was walking down the aisle with my bruised bouquet, I noticed they had TOTALLY disregarded my request regarding my maid of honor’s single giant flower, which I made clear since a year ago.

When the time arrived for me to toss my bouquet, you bet I was more than happy to throw it away.

3. I walked down the aisle ALONE because my wedding planners FORGOT ABOUT MY DAD. 

Briefs? Rehearsals? They DON’T  exist with Studio Victorias.

After shock #2, I walked into the garden & found myself at a lost amongst guests. After about 10 minutes or so, É, my maid of honor & wedding planners, started calling me to “Come back! They are not supposed to see you yet.” Appalled, I yelled in dismay – “Then why the hell did no one tell me BEFORE?”

Then came the time to walk down the aisle. Before I could remind them to get my dad who was waiting for the cue, when it shouldn’t be my job to be reminding, the damn walk began.

Despite their self-proclaimed years of wedding planning experience, they had forgotten that the bride would want to walk the aisle with her father.

WOW. WTF.

That KILLED me.

My best friend, who couldn’t attend because she just had a baby, said I did not look too happy in the photo walking down the aisle.

No shit. The only thing in my head as I walked down that path alone was, “I will NEVER have the chance to walk down the aisle with my father EVER again!”

4. The wedding planners STALLED our ceremony because they missed the cue.

After successfully completing the first part of the ceremony (vows, ring exchange, kiss-the-bride), I realized we were never briefed on how the transition into the tea ceremony should be.

What is our cue? Shouldn’t there be a music change?

Nothing happened.

For a few seconds, I froze beyond belief. The wedding planners were nowhere to be seen. Probably standing somewhere cluelessly. Signaling my maid of honor, she ‘exit stage’ to find them.

{É & I aghast, while trying to keep our cool whilst guests waited}

Me: WHAT’S NEXT?!

Shit planner: Oh. We will be changing the chairs.

WTF? Someone had to personally fetch you for that? You Queen Elizabeth?

Hence we lingered around like a bunch of mess while waiting for the ceremony to resume. At this point, Sarah, a good friend of mine, stepped in to calm me down. I told her to bring me a bowl because I need to vomit blood.

5. Wedding requests that matter were DISREGARDED by the wedding planners. 

Sure, we look happy. But this photoshoot session with our guests shouldn’t be executed at this small cramped corner supposedly dedicated only for the tea ceremony.

As mentioned earlier, we paid a large sum for the whole palace, thus it makes sense to make use of as much of the area as we can. This was communicated clearly & sternly to the planners in order for them to ensure that both the event & photoshoot with guests is ruled by this theory.

Of course. Why The Fuck would they care?

6. The wedding planners INTERRUPTED guests’ speeches. 

We were lucky to have so many guests writing better, wittier speeches than in the movies.

Alas, we were also unlucky to have professional wedding planners interrupt our listening by asking questions they should have sorted out themselves, multiple times, despite being told not to do so during speeches! Isn’t this common sense? The fuck . . .

7. The wedding planners PUSHED RESPONSIBILITIES to the guest. 

1 of the activities at the wedding was the ‘yam seng’ (toast), officiated by our fathers, proceeded by us at every table. The explanation of how it works was to be done by our DJ.

Despite briefing my wedding planner & getting her approval that she understood how it works, right before the toasting session, my maid of honor & brother turned to me; looking clueless & panicking.

Apparently, our DJ wasn’t going to do that part of his job & threw it to the wedding planner’s part-timer, who then went behind my back to try his luck at throwing the task to my brother. WTF!!!

So there I was, briefing what has to be said to my brother in front of everyone. Fucking disastrous.

8. The projector was SLANTED. 

I spent a whole day before the wedding editing 2 videos to be played at the event with 1 of the worst sore throats the past decade. 1 of them is made of combined wishes from my friends who couldn’t attend but sincerely sent their blessings.

Instead of respecting everyone’s effort & this gift I treasure, they TILTED the video during projection. A family member asked, “Why is it like that?”. My brother turned to me & said, “Even I can do a better job at that. Seriously.”

É went up to the machine to try & fix it.

WTF!

9. Not a single bulb of promised fairy lights turned up. 

This wedding is 65% my vision. The remaining dream is involuntarily being discounted by rubbish planners.

I asked for this much fairy lights, confirmed with the bitch via email & WhatsApp:

How many lights did I get? Z-E-R-O.

I asked for sugar cubes to be placed on petals:

“Yep” the bitch dryly said & did shit.

To make matters worse, most guests didn’t know there was a dessert table indoors, so most of that went to waste. The caterers didn’t do their job filling guests’ glasses with the champagne my sister-in-law sponsored. The wedding planners did NOTHING about them.

WTF – Whose fucking job is it?

10. My wedding cake design was wrong & the wedding planners EXPECTED ME TO BRING SPARKLES FROM MALAYSIA. WTF!

{supposed cake to be made of anything but just one idea}

{the cake that is anything but what I asked for, as if to go against me}

I was called to cut the cake. Nevermind that they ignored my cake design request & kept quiet about it (AGAIN). It still looks pretty so I breathe & did my best to let it drop.

“Where are the sparkles?” I asked, beaming.

“Did you bring them, from Malaysia?”

I paralyzed. “Who, me??? Is that even legal? YOU are the planner!”

“It wasn’t in the budget which you approved.”

“Since a year ago, I told you I MUST HAVE SPARKLES. Why didn’t you tell me it isn’t in the budget then?!”

Well, it IS in the budget we approved & PAID FOR (above). It is also in the FINAL confirmation (below):

What the actual fuck. Did these people really expect me to bring explosives from my country? This screenshot is our final wedding timeline sent a day before our wedding after 11 p.m. Sparkles are IN it.

I was so kek sim I couldn’t cut the kek.

都过了，为什么还要写呢？对不起，我不满意。能做的，我都做了。还是给这些人害死！

Surrounded by all that magic, guests were telling me “I hope you had fun” or “I hope you enjoyed the party”. I wonder what they saw in my eyes. I could act but I couldn’t fake. My body & soul was there but my mind was absent; stunned by inconceivably ridiculous disaster one after another.

The most rational consolation anyone could give is that nobody would notice the things that bother me because they don’t know what I envisioned for the wedding.

Unfortunately, watching my wedding planners fumble through the timeline, spill unwanted surprises by screwing up every element I designed carefully, being interrupted during the best speeches, having to orchestrate my own wedding on my wedding day, is inevitably irritating, frustrating, nerve & heartbreaking.

My closest girlfriends immediately acknowledged the mess that was going on underneath all that beauty & assigned themselves as my bridal guardians. We exchanged glances, eye rolls, sighs & head shakes into the night. My frustration was shared. I felt understood & somehow even safe; like someone’s got my back.

I had done everything I can from afar to the extent of not working to make sure everything will be perfect – the least they could do is take responsibility. They had ONE job – PLAN a wedding. Yet, it was like hiring a fireman who is afraid of fire.

What’s the difference between this & getting scammed/conned? We paid 2000€ for a service that costs us not just money but all the unwanted pain above! 

If you happen to read this because you are looking for wedding planning services in Portugal, unless you want to fuck up your own wedding experience, do yourself a favor.

AVOID: Studio Victorias

Studio Victorias is made of a bunch of dependent, irresponsible, unprofessional so-called wedding planners consisted of full-time mothers & part-time students/planners.

When they can’t cope, they engage a 3rd party, a woman by the name Nikolina, who gives more promises than actions, twists your words, sends SELFIES of herself when you expect wedding updates (jaw drop once), never apologetic, switches off her phone or exits discussions on her whim (jaw drop twice).

{What the fuck has Brazillian monkeys to do with me?! Fuck these bitches royally up their ass}

 

If you have a wedding mishap to share, do tell. I am not-so-secretly hoping I am not the only bride with so many WTF moments. If only that could make me feel slightly better.