Over a cup of steaming hot ginger tea or during a bumpy ride in a van along the main street of Battaramulla; i can’t quite remember which, i participated in a conversation with my Sri Lanka host / fabulous friend Tracy concerning the topic of loneliness VS solitude.
We all know someone in our circle who claims so often that they are okay being alone when truth is, the ability of being able to enjoy aloneness is something you’re born with, or not (although in some cases it does gets better with age, while some spend their whole lives avoiding loneliness).
Though i sometimes proudly take pride in confessing that i do enjoy my time being alone; as much as being out with friends and one cocktail after another in hand, i sincerely see isolation as more of a reminder to myself of who i am, admist all that festive elements.
i believe that one is never truly alone. Literally, yes, that’s possible. But in a more sophisticated perspective, if you have lived your life right, chances are that you naturally have real friends. People we love who love us might not always be by our side, but they never left us either.
So i decided to date myself over a rustic desk in my own room. With some papers and a pen, i scribbled and drew my life into executable plans; which helped me put my mind back to the right perspectives again. After all, what’s the point of having thoughts; if not putting them on paper? And what’s the point of putting them on paper, if there is no will to execute them?
To have will, is something so easy to say, easiest to give to others, but something so hard to gain when it has to come from one’s own self. i find it easy to encourage friends who temporarily lost their directions in life, but as i am only human, i realized how strenuous it is to gather all the faraway strength, blurred dreams, sudden lost of own identity.
Despite all that (necessary) struggle, how are you suppose to figure anything out at all if you are constantly with people or worse, scrolling through your phonebook to call someone out for a drink to fill in your empty slot-of-the-day?
That said, there are some things in life that are better shared to elevate the quality of events, life, or celebration. But there are some (simple) things when done in your own space and time that can turn hidden thoughts into life changing moments.
Here are 5 suggestions on what you can do as starters (even on a Friday night ):
- Light up a scented candle in your bathroom. Try to empty your mind under a hot shower with water running above your head. Imagine it washing all the negativity down the drain.
- Wear matching set of cute pyjamas. Read a good book in bed (i like travelogues).
- De-clutter your desk and decorate it with fancy stationaries. Make sure you have a few color pens and a stack of empty papers without lines. Go crazy!
- Play your favorite music (i always opt for Norah Jone’s Feels Like Home album), while painting your nails with the season’s hottest color / design.
- Write your best friend a letter or email with a cup of chamomile tea in your favorite mug by your side.
Don’t be afraid to be alone. Silence can be piercing, but the moment you shake its hands and greet it hello, you’d be surprised to find that the answers for the mind-bogging questions you’ve been asking your close friends / looking for in every corner of the city, are just right there echoing back at you through the walls of your room.