The Striving Claw
Posted by Cindy Tey on July 23, 2009
I strive to get the most out of life. Some people just take it easy and live life as it goes. One thing at a time, they say. But for me, I have to have a plan. I need to know what am I going to do tomorrow; even if it is doing nothing – I need to know that I’m gonna do nothing. I must have a direction to head to and a vision of what it’s gonna look like.
They say, people like me choose to make life more difficult than it is. It is true; that my ‘planning’ couldn’t change the broken paths imprinted on my palms, but it is also a personality trait that I was born with – planning to live, and living to plan.
I don’t know if that is suppose to sound happy or sad, but it certainly doesn’t make me smile reading what I just wrote. However, would quitting to plan and play life by ear make me any happier? No. Cause no one can be happy if they can’t be themselves.
The same goes to relationships as life is about relationships with people. Not only do I strive to get the most out of life, I also can’t get no satisfaction. It is very hard being me. I know. Especially when it comes to boyfriend searching, it is harder than picking berries or tea leaves.
So I’m wasting my day (as planned) at Gloria Jeans now. Alone. A cute guy was sitting precisely 90 degrees from my right. He ogled me. 30 minutes later, his girlfriend came by, bought a Macadamia Latte and they left together hand in hand.
From a bird’s eye view, approximately 75 degrees from where my human eyes are rolling, sat a cute Korean guy. So what. It’s not like he’ll come over to greet me in Korean and start giving me free Korean language lessons. And there’s no way I’m going there to nudge him hello first.
This Saturday – Hennessy Artistry. The Club. Apparently, the biggest event of the year! But then again, guys in the club seriously? Not boyfriend material.
This boyfriend thing is giving me a headache.
So you finally got yourself a boyfriend. At first, he treats you like a princess Queen. You see each other everyday or at least whenever you can. 1/2 a year later, you realized you see each other once a week! Reason given? Busy @ work. Well that’s funny~ Every man’s work gets busy starting the 181th day of being in a relationship.
My 3rd and last boyfriend could make me so angry and confused I could shit the crap outta my pants. Throughout the 7 months we were together, we never went anywhere. Even when we were still friends, I’d hinted, asked, begged and finally forced him to go Genting Highlands with me. FFS – Just for a day, mind you. But we never got around to do it.
With my previous 2 boyfriends, we went there and had so much fun. Where else in Malaysia could you go anyway? I even asked for Pusat Sains Negara ok! (but of course, we didn’t manage that anyway.) But it really is about whose company you wanna. Am I right??
The reasons I hear is always about money. He has no cash to take me on a trip; not even to Genting? But one day he told me he is going to a trip with his boy friends to an island. OMFG!? Where did he get the MONEY to do that instead???
I am SICK and TIRED of MY OWN relationships. I see loving couples everywhere and I wish what I see is what I get. I read some lovey-dovey-couply blogs, adore and admire them, but outside the web; I hear real stories of their serious shit not-so-typical bf/gf problems. I must say, selfishly, that makes me feel okay to be sick and tired.
Not being in a relationship is bad, but being in a stale one is worse. But then everything turns old. So HOW?
For now, I think I should start channeling my lurve for friends, family, and plants instead. I found out about this Facebook Lurve Affair contest from Nuffnang, Ringo and Aud’s blog, so I decided to give it a go too! 
(Finally something happier)
There are a few categories, and I chose to sprinkle, discover, share, and spread some love around~
Take a Quiz and Whizz yourself away by discovering the hidden side of you!
Imma French Onion like Aud. Haih… I aimed for Seaweed Nori actually. However, DO read my quiz result! I think it is very me! B)
Sending some love to a very hot friend…
Ruby booby!
And not to forget, to make fun of Eri Peng by giving her a biggg sexc red kiss on her head…
Ha Ha Ha!!!
Lovers come and go, but friends are forever, aren’t they? (=
friends dont break up!
)
my current bf is doing the same thing exactly as wat ur ex did! he rarely bring me out for dinner and we never went to anywhere too, but he is planning a trip with his male frens to bali!!! wtf!!!
Hey babe, I totally feel you. Be strong, yeah and channel those loving to people around you, true friends and family. Its easier said than being done, but its just how things work really. And oh, you must learn how to love yourself first! Good luck to you, dear!
))))
Today blog is a nice one. I like reading this.
who wants to date a guy who eat porridge and kiam chai
everyday?
Cindy, one of ur ads code not working =)
The Square one~
im so gullible that i tot u were really emo
-just a random passerby
yea, hate those bf that only want to stay at home 7days/week. Sien.
Haha and I think the emoticon thumbnail above is matching my comment
awww cindy why u sound so sad
cheer up! <3
and hahaha i wanted to get seaweed nori too cos its my fav!
“Lovers come and go, but friends are forever, aren’t they? (=”
This is just so so so so so so so so so true!!
“Not being in a relationship is bad, but being in a stale one is worse”
i’m sharing the same thought with you..totally agree!!
i agree with u 100%. finding or choosing a right guy is definitely hard. a good guy and ideal bf is really hard to find nowadays. even if you do find one good guy, he might not b available anymore, or u or u might not so into him. maybe what they said is true, gals are always attracted to bad boys, and when we do start a rlnsp with these them, it ll sure make ur life like hell with dramas n confusion
you’re right, it’s not the activity; it’s the company that matters =)
unfortunately, guys like me have miniscule chances of getting to know girls like you ‘cos we’re at home in front of our laptops or buried in books all the time. heh.
except for when i happen to get called up for a certain lurve screen test, where, surprise, surprise, i see a certain cindy tey. but still while waiting i’m buried in a book. and then i leave without earning more than a passing glance. ah well =)
come, come, i date u so that u won’t be lonely.
Well, I think the most important factor of being together with someone is about what they really wants from each other.
I’m mean is ridiculous to say no $$ and went trip with bunch of friends.
About the 181st day of all man being busy with work, that’s usual certain guys out there, well I would say is the way they perceived “life cycle” in a relationship.
I think is very important to play a role of being someone’s gf or bf to create an environment for each other to participate in a relationship. I might be wrong…anyhow
Cheers Up……Peace!
haih… i like what u said at the end. but not everyone has the heart to ‘create’ that environment perhaps. everyone’s just too comfortable being in their own zone…?