Life has been rather overwhelming as of late.
While some might say it is better than a boring life, I find myself gasping for air to breathe. When I finally manage to sit down with my mind, I am either gagged with things to do, or sitting remorsefully feeling guilty that I am taking a rest when there is a long list of tasks to be tackled.
If you are an avid reader of Cin City, you would have known by now that I don’t usually publish articles of this sort. Entries in this blog are often categorized. It is not about painting a false perception that my life is all pink and rosy around the globe, but rather about filtering out matters which I figure won’t interest you.
But this time around, as I try to write about a recent sponsored trip overseas that went absolutely lovely, I find myself struggling to put my words together. No matter how I try, there is no way to get that done because I need to get this part out first. For myself, and for the truth. That the truth, time, and events evolving my life are not synchronized.
My memories are scrambled.
“Which part of the world are you at now?” has been the #1 question I received a lot. To put things into perspective, this is what’s been happening as of late: LIFE.
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I’ve been driving around with all my belongings stored in my car right now. This transition feels like living on the highway. For the first time in my life, I am moving out from my parents’ to stay with my life partner, É. While the simple thought of being faraway from my parents brings warm tears to my eyes, I’m very grateful that they have been supportive in many ways. “This will always be your home . . . You can come back anytime“, are my dad’s words, while mum has been extremely helpful with packing in every loving way. At the rate of how the move’s been going, I reckon it would take a few more weeks for things to fall into place.
P.S. Picture too ugly to be inserted.
I haven’t been home. A week in glistening Hokkaido. Five beautiful days in Myanmar. An upcoming trip to Xi’an. A wedding in Singapore (É’s first visit!). My weekend birthday in between. Christmas in Portugal . . . I am extremely lucky to be able to trot the globe, yet I have no time to write; even lesser time left to read. I still owe a 1000 word travel article to a lecturer; which feels like a bug worming my heart.
One of my new year resolutions in 2015 is to be a good friend. A better friend. Last Saturday, I broke a record of spending 12 hours in Publika – straight. Despite life on the crazy lane, I managed to pull together a baby shower for my best friend, Eri, followed by a birthday surprise for Ruby, on top of attending one wedding after another. Next, is a surprise parcel I’m sending out to 7.0000° N, 81.0000° E. Giving to those who are worth it is at most times, better than receiving. (:
To be completely honest, I job hunted for fun before I landed at my current job. Nuffnang expanded their bloggers database so it took a while for ads to come by. I thought I could do more with my free time so I typed in the word “writing” into the keyword search in JobStreet. From being a copywriter, today I run a social media team of 6 unique individuals. Looking back, I learned a new set of A-Z and discovered certain qualities in me I didn’t know I have. But amongst most things that I noticed, there is one that stands out the most:
Women at work.
I share the same belief with Sheryl Sandberg that women should help and support other women at work; not bring them down. As a young lady who is going through life stages in her 20s, I can say that everyone is trying to make a living and balance life as the days go by. We are not Pinterest boards. We need inspirations. We need support at work. I hate to say this, but really, jealousy is a very intoxicating word and most probably bad for your liver. Please rid it. Start aspiring other women around you to be better together. I never understood people; male, female, straight or not; who have time to gossip or worse, be involved in petty office politics. These people should be ashamed of themselves, especially if they’re from our generation today.
Meeting É is the best thing that happened to me. Nothing has ever felt more right. I’ve been trying to find time (and make the best out of it) ever since we started dating but truth is, it hasn’t been easy. My blogging time after work has become my dating time and at times, I would fall asleep on the couch as early as 10 p.m., when he wants to share with me the interesting things he knows about the world. On Friday nights, I don’t even feel like going out or when I do, I secretly dream of getting the hell out of my dress and jump into bed to forget the world until tomorrow. The last thing I want is for our quality time to be affected. What’s worse, I’ve never cooked a meal for him despite brewing a secret passion for cooking. ):
I wish I had more time to exercise and run. É and I are planning to start a health regime together, with options when it’s hazy outside – for the 100th time. Hopefully it works out this time!
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Should I know no fear, these would be the Top 3 priorities in my life right now:
- Write soulfully. Write to cure.
- Plan a dream wedding.
- Travel United States coast-to-coast before we have little É(s) and little C(s).
If only I could just drop everything and write a book, or turn my blog into a site with more (accessible) travel content, I think I would be at peace. While traveling all these years, I have collected so many materials, captured so many photographs, lived so many untold stories from Philippines, Yogyakarta, Spain, Sri Lanka, Austria, Prague, Hungary, Myanmar . . . they are all sleeping in my SD card! I feel so rich, yet so poor, or handicapped that I can’t find time to share them with you, update this blog more often, or perhaps turn it into a full-time job.
There’s too much on my plate and I can’t stop life from happening. I don’t need a break from life; I need a break from things that are not worth it. It’s time to choose and drop one thing, and that one thing is . . . the one thing that consumes me the most. I can’t wait to say goodbye.